Navigating Holidays: 5 Tips for Parents of Children with Behavioral or Developmental Needs

As the holiday season approaches, many parents eagerly anticipate festive gatherings, cherished traditions, and the joy that comes with spending time with loved ones. However, for parents raising children with behavioral or developmental needs, this time of year can also bring about unique challenges that warrant thoughtful consideration.

According to a survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA), approximately 38% of parents reported elevated stress levels during the holiday season. That number doubles for parents with children with autism (National Autistic Society, 63%) or behavioral challenges (Journal of Pediatric Psychology, 68%). Among the common concerns that weigh on these parents’ minds are overstimulation and sensory challenges. Bright lights, loud music, crowded spaces, and various textures (like unfamiliar clothing or certain foods) can be overwhelming for children with heightened sensitivities, especially those with sensory processing difficulties or conditions like autism. Parents may be concerned about how their child will navigate this sensory overload, fearing potential meltdowns or increased stress.

Another prevalent concern that occupies the thoughts of parents during the holiday season is the potential for changes in routine and structure. Children with behavioral needs often thrive on predictability and structured routines, elements that may be disrupted by the festivities of the holiday season. Parents express anxiety about the impact of these disruptions on their child’s regular routine, anticipating increased anxiety, mood swings, or difficulties in adjusting to new situations. The holiday season, with its varied activities and altered schedules, prompts concerns about how to best prepare and support their child through these changes without causing undue stress.

Naturally, social challenges and inclusion weigh heavily on the minds of parents, who frequently find themselves navigating worries about how their child will engage in social interactions, communicate with others, and handle unfamiliar faces and environments during holiday gatherings. The fear of judgment from family members or friends adds an extra layer of stress, prompting parents to feel the need to constantly explain or justify their child’s behavior. Creating an inclusive environment and ensuring others understand and support the child’s unique needs become paramount concerns for parents navigating the holiday season with children with behavioral needs.

    1. Prioritize What Is Most Important: In the midst of holiday preparations and the desire to create perfect moments, it is essential for parents to prioritize what truly matters. Identify the most important aspects of the holiday experience for your family and focus on those. Whether it’s spending quality time together, embracing meaningful traditions, or ensuring your child feels comfortable and supported, these priorities should take precedence.
    2. Adjust Expectations: Amidst the holiday hustle and bustle, all parents need to adjust expectations. Adjusting expectations doesn’t diminish the holiday spirit; instead, it allows for flexibility and a more enjoyable celebration. By letting go of the pressure to meet unrealistic expectations, you can create a more relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere for both you and your child. Remember, the essence of the holiday season lies in the connections and shared moments, and by prioritizing what is most important, you can cultivate a joyous and fulfilling celebration. The simple mental shift of recognizing that the festivities might not unfold precisely as envisioned may help.
    3. Keep the Routine in the Holiday Hype: Maintaining a routine is like a secret weapon against stress! The holidays often disrupt daily schedules, leading to increased anxiety for both parents and children. To address this, try your best to stick to your routine as much as possible. Share the holiday plans with your child in advance and consider creating a calendar, list of events, or even a visual schedule to help them navigate the changes more smoothly.
    4. Designate a Sanctuary for Your Child: Holiday gatherings can lead to sensory overload, with bustling crowds, loud conversations, and a whirlwind of activity. Understand your child’s sensitivities and create a cozy corner or room where they can retreat when things get overwhelming. When not available, briefly changing the setting may help. Leaving the area for a place less noisy (even sitting in the car for a few minutes) can provide a space for your child to recharge and return to the festivities with a refreshed mindset.
    5. Speak the Same Language: Communication is key, especially when it comes to holiday plans. Children with behavioral needs may struggle with the unknown, leading to increased anxiety. Sit down with your child and talk about expectations using clear language. This will help them understand what’s happening and reduce the likelihood of misunderstandings or outbursts.

The holiday season can be a joyous occasion for families, including those with children with behavioral or developmental needs. By incorporating these tips, parents can navigate the holiday season with greater ease, fostering a positive and inclusive atmosphere for their children. Remember that each child is unique, so tailor these strategies to fit your child’s specific needs and preferences. With thoughtful preparation and understanding, you can create holiday memories filled with meaningful and stress-free moments for your family.